Improve Your Relationship Beyond Your Wildest Dreams - 5 Simple Steps to a Blissful Partnership

Step 1. Change Your Focus

No matter how much self-development work you've done, your primary relationship is the final frontier (whether it's a love partnership, parent or child relationship). Everyone plays out their most ingrained patterns and behaviors in their relationships. I've heard self-development teachers complaining bitterly about their partners - we all do it.

The most important thing to realize is that: 99.9% of any problems in your relationship are because of your focus. Yes that's right - if you understand that your focus creates your reality, you will change the dynamics of your relationship for the better and forever.

Let's take an example: Lucy is a forty year old mother, who has been married for 15 years. She loves her husband, but she can't help but notice all the things that don't get done. Every time her husband cleans the house, he leaves things half done; he does the yard work, but leaves tools out in the rain; somehow things are never quite right. Lucy loves her kids, but she's driven crazy by the way they're always breaking stuff, the squabbling, the endless cleaning up. If you asked her, Lucy would say she was pretty happy with her life, but inside she's simmering and frustrated by what to do about all the little things that make her crazy. She's grouchy with the kids and especially fed up with her partner, who seems to be constantly trying to annoy her. Her feelings of resentment and frustration often boil over in outbreaks of temper and criticism.

Lucy's main focus is on all everything that is wrong in her life. We all do it sometime. How often do you say "You did blah blah", "You said blah blah blah". You, you, you.

So what to do about it?

• Notice how you feel: if you're feeling grouchy ask yourself "What am I focused on?"
• Notice what you're thinking: focusing on the behavior of others and judging it will result in realities you may not like.
• Change your focus.
• Go to Step 2.

Step 2. Take Responsibility for Your Thoughts and Feelings
Your thoughts are just that - they're yours. They are not an accurate reflection of reality. They indicate your underlying beliefs.

Your feelings are the same - they exist inside you. They do not reflect reality as it truly is.
Take Lucy for example. Her thoughts and feelings tell her that others make her life difficult and frustrating, that she is unable to change her circumstances, that her partner constantly lets her down. She feels terrible about it all.

What those thoughts and feelings are really telling her, is what her underlying beliefs are. Lucy believes that she is powerless, that men will let her down and that life is a struggle - all beliefs formed during her childhood that she continues to give power too, usually without realising it.

Take responsibility for your thoughts and feelings. When relations with your partner are going haywire or even slightly bent:

• Ask yourself: What am I thinking?
• Ask yourself: What emotions am I experiencing?
• Ask yourself: What underlying belief do these thoughts and feelings reflect?
• Accept that your thoughts, feelings and underlying beliefs belong to you and do not reflect the reality of the moment you are in.
• Do nothing about it. Just let the thoughts, feelings and beliefs be there. Don't act on them, don't judge them. Just let them be.
• Go to step 3.

Step 3. Ask Yourself - What Else is Possible?
It's very simple. Just ask yourself "What Else is Possible?" There's no need to answer the question. In fact, don't bother answering, you will only limit yourself to what YOU think is possible.

Ask the question and then allow yourself to rest in the unknown. You will immediately be outside those thoughts and feelings that were plaguing you.

Step 4. Ask Yourself - What Would I Love?
Just do it. Ask yourself "What would I love right now?".

You have the answer. It could be anything. Maybe you'd love to go for a bike ride, maybe you'd love to watch a movie, maybe you'd love to touch your partner lovingly, perhaps you'd love to go and be creative. Just ask the question. You are now focused on what you would love.

By the way, if you're thinking "Right now I'd love to turn my partner into road kill" - that's NOT what you'd truly love. It's what you think that you want. No thinking.

What you truly love makes you go "mmmmm, I'd LOVE that." What you truly love brings feelings of peace and wholeness when you think of it because it comes from the heart, from your higher self.

If you ask yourself "What would I truly love?" the answer will be there for you and it will never involve attacking your partner in any way - with words or otherwise. Sometimes, however, you may find that what you would truly love is to walk away from your present relationship. You have the answers within you.

Step 5. Take Action Towards What You Would Love
If what you would love is to go for a bike ride, go for a bike ride, no matter how absurd it seems at the time.

If what you would love is to give your partner a cuddle, go and give them one, no matter what your thoughts and feelings are telling you or how awkward you feel.

When you act in favor of what you love, you are taking responsibility for the reality you are creating. The more you do it, the more loving, enjoyable and fulfilling your relationship will become.

So, in summary, to create a blissful relationship:

• Change your focus - your focus creates your reality.
• Take responsibility for your thoughts and feelings. Ask yourself: What am I thinking? What am I feeling? What underlying beliefs do these thoughts and feelings reflect?
• Ask yourself: What else is possible? Don't answer, just hang out in the infinity of possibility.
• Ask yourself: What would I love right now? What would I truly love?
• Take action towards what you would love. Just do it.
• Create and adjust. Each time you follow the 5 steps, you will learn something about yourself - it's a wonderful and enlightening process and can radically change your life.
• Just do it. Don't wait till tomorrow or next week. Just do it now. By Pollyanna McAleer
  

Make a Guy Fall in Love - Move Him From Mild Attraction to Flaming Passion!

Where do you begin if you want to make a guy fall in love? It is possible to make him yearn for your love as completely as he yearns for your body? Do you want to know what it takes to bring a man from mild attraction into flaming passion for you? If you want answers to these questions then you'd better keep reading. Pay attention because you are about to learn how to make a guy fall in love...

Lust is a lot less complicated than love is, which may be why men seem to favor it. Men aren't taught to believe that they should go all out and express their emotions. They can have feelings of lust for a woman, but those belong to the physical realm. Men are at home in the physical realm, the same is not true for their comfort level with the emotional realm.

You see, emotional bonding takes work, sex really does not. In other words, men do not have to leave their comfort zone in order to have sex with a woman. However, in order to be vulnerable enough to actually care for someone else and to take the chance of getting hurt if that person does not feel the same, men have to step outside of their comfort zones.

Well, most guys are going to put up some resistance to allowing themselves to be open to getting hurt. It doesn't make them jerks; it just means that they may have some defenses against becoming open and needy. It's because they are raised NOT to be that way and society constantly bombards them with messages telling them not to be weak or emotional.

The best thing that you can do to make a guy feel safe and fall in love with you is to take it slow. Men like to feel that they are in control of their lives, so let him set the pace that the relationship moves at. That said, you will want to hold off on having sex with him in the beginning. Once he is in the comfort zone of physical intimacy, you are going to have a significantly harder time of trying to inspire him back out and into a place where he has to feel and work more.

By Tina L. Jones

Make a Guy Fall in Love - How to Make Him Open Up to You

Have you been frustrated before by a guy who seems to go back and forth between loving you and not loving you? Would you like nothing more than to make him fall in love with you? Have you asked him how he feels only to have him change his tune each time that you talk to him about it? Don't let yourself get too annoyed and whatever you do, do not give up if he is who you really want. Keep reading and learn how to make a guy fall in love with you and open his heart to you.

Women could ruminate forever on why guys just seem to resist the idea of falling in love so much more than we do. Is it because society teaches them that it is unmanly to be vulnerable? Is it because too many stupid movies have make them believe that marriage or long term girlfriends signal the ending of all of their fun? Maybe it is because they really are life forms from another planet where football and religion are one and laundry washes itself. Either way, you had better learn to play the game with them if you want to make a guy fall in love. But just what exactly does that mean?

First, understand that men move more slowly when it comes to love than women do. It takes them longer to realize that a girl that they have an amazing connection with just might be someone that they never want to lose. So try to relax and slow down with him. It will be far less frustrating for you to move to his slower pace than to try to drag him along at your quicker one.

Now, you want to be there for him, but do it without always being there. In other words, when you are with him, bless him with your undivided attention. He asked you out to spend time with you, so make it the time of his life. You can make a guy fall in love with you by making him feel that you will make him a top priority when you are together. Every guy wants to feel like they are amazing and fascinating and entertaining. If he thinks that you see him that way, it will sweep him off his feet.

By Tina L. Jones

Make a Guy Fall in Love - The One Most Important Secret to Use

Are you thinking of a guy right now who you would love to win the love of? Can you make a guy fall in love with you, or are things like that beyond your control? What wouldn't you try for the right man? There is one secret that may be the most important that you ever learn when it comes to how to make a guy fall in love with you. Read on to find out what it is.

Ever heard the expression that you have to learn to walk a mile in someone else's shoes before you can ever hope to make sense of their perspective? What it means is that understanding comes from attempting to see situations from the other person's viewpoints. It cannot even be stressed enough how imperative this is when you are in a relationship that you want to make last.

This begins with understanding that you being in love does not mean that he has to be in love as well. Does that mean that he won't ever love you back? No! But it may mean that you will have to wait for him to realize it. So then, what is the most important secret for a woman to use when she wants to make a guy fall in love with her and stay excited and devoted? It is to stop trying so hard, plain and simple.

When you are constantly worried about what he thinks and feels about you, you are not taking time to notice what your own feelings are. You might end up chasing after a man that you are not even that into, just because you were so worried about what he was thinking about you! Let him chase you; let him impress you. He will work that much harder and appreciate the time that you give him that much more.

This is also the most important secret you will learn when it comes to men and making them fall in love, because men hate to be pushed. Ask yourself why you should be tearing your hair out trying to please him and get him to feel something when all it is doing is making him withdraw from you even more. Keep yourself out of this bad situation by relaxing and letting the relationship develop more naturally. Not only will you be a lot more relaxed and happy, but you will be more enjoyable to be around. Everyone wins!

By Tina L. Jones

Secret Relationships - Do They Work?

When you think about secret relationships you think of James Bond. These relationships give the impression of freedom and adventure; in reality they are often the contrary. The person in the secret relationship appears to be always smiling at you because he knows something you don't know.

Just as secret relationships are quite common, they don't always work out for very long; Having to keep such a secret puts considerable pressure on the couple; this is why they are so often short lived.

Most people talk about their partner in their everyday conversation. So if there was no secret you would be naturally talking about them quite regularly throughout the day. It will be difficult to continue for a long period without talking in some way about your relationship.

When you are in a secret relationship you must continually refrain from doing so. Perhaps you thrive on the stress under which you put yourself throughout the day; indeed some people treat it like a game and play it to the full to see how long they can get away with it. Others tend to get themselves into this situation by accident, and find themselves under enormous trying all day long to avoid "spilling the beans".

Then you have your partner in this relationship having to do the same thing, so between the two of you, this can amount to an awful lot of strain.

You have to be so careful in everything you do to avoid being seen together by your friends. The pleasure of a meal in a restaurant or going to a movie together or even being seen in the street together holding hands is not for you

You may have a good reason for wanting to keep the relationship secret. You do not want your friends to know that what started as a casual friendship has developed into something more intense. If eventually there is a break up the friends will never know.

For this reason, affairs at work are often kept secret. There are some situations at work where such liaisons are actively discouraged, if not forbidden. Anyway it is usually preferable that those around are not in the know;

Wanting to keep the secret gives the feeling that the partners consider that the relationship is not destined to last long term. A relationship, where you share with your partner the doubts about its viability, is not a healthy relationship.

For those who enjoy the thrill of a secret relationship it is best to make the most of it while it lasts, knowing that this may not be for very long.

You would do well to read a book written by T 'Dub' Jackson. It is a no nonsense, simple, easy to read guide called "The Magic of Making Up". He has been able to help many thousands of people all over the world, sort out their relationship problems.

By Joe Bisley

Win My Love Back - How to Win Your Love Back Using Plain, Old-Fashioned Common Sense

"Win my love back." I bet that has been the number one thought on your mind since your split up, hell I bet it's been the ONLY thought on your mind.

Have you got "sick lover's" syndrome? No appetite (or the opposite "comfort eating"), extremely depressed, frightened of being alone, and worried that your ex will find someone new? These are the most common human reactions to the loss of a long term partner.

The problem is that they spur most people forward into doing the wrong things to try and get their lover back. Either they pursue their ex to the point of nuisance, stalking them day and night or they start calling them up and apologizing for anything and everything, even worse they start promising to change pleading to be taken back, these are the very worst things you can do. All you will succeed in is pushing them further away!

What you need to use is some good old fashioned common sense.

Get a grip, it's not the end of the world, you are still the healthy intelligent person you were when this love affair started. Now you need to make a rational cold blooded decision, are you going to try and win your love back or choose to move on in your life and find someone new?

Don't rush this take a couple of days maybe even a week, think back over all the times you spent together and being brutally honest with yourself decide if it was really that good a relationship, was it fun, inspiring always changing never boring and dull, think it over and try and be as cold and unemotional as possible when coming to your decision.

For those of you who decide to move on, good luck and good wishes to you and may you find true love at some future time. To those of you who want to rekindle their relationship this following advice is meant to form the first small basic steps to a much larger overall plan to get your ex partner back.

Start by completely ignoring your ex for a while, sure stay in the same circle of friends, but do not pay them any attention whatsoever, if they talk to you fine, be polite and kind, but completely business like.

You must appear strong, happy and undamaged by recent events, even a little cold and aloof would be cool. This will so get inside their head, they will not understand or be able to make any sense at all from your behaviour. That is exactly what we want.

It would also be a very good idea to have a couple of dates with someone else from your group of friends or just someone else who knows your past partner, a little jealously goes along way believe me.

It is imperative that at all time you appear happy and content with your life, no one wants to date a sour faced, crying bleeding-hearted wimp, male or female.

Spend some time concentrating on yourself, yes have some YOU time. Get fitter lose some weight, buy some new clothes, hang out with your friends, go to the movies, restaurants, in short whatever makes you happy.

As I said earlier this is just the basis for a much larger step by step plan to get your ex back.

Look, I know how it feels to lose the love of your life. I have been there and been through it. You can actually get your ex back if you just follow this plan. It ain't rocket science! I've got a video guide for you at my website that is guaranteed to get your lost love back in no time.

It is actually much easier to speak to real people who have been there and done that, than to a pay a specialist to give you canned information about making relationships work. The most remarkable thing that I found following the end of my relationship was that there is a strategy that is easy to follow and proven to work for hundreds of couples who have used it previously.

This system is proven to work time and time again. Be Positive and Take action NOW! You are now taking the same steps that I took when I lost the love of my life. I was lucky enough to discover the maker of that video, someone who is a specialist on relationship counselling and psychology an expert called T 'Dub' Jackson.

By Rans Stoddard

Make a Guy Fall in Love - Be His Ideal Girl

Is there a certain man that you are actually crushing on? Are you worrying as to whether or not you can make a guy fall in love? Are there types of things that you can do to make him fall in love with you? Believe it or not women are not the only ones who yearn to fall in love. Guys also become totally serious about a relationship when they find a great girl. Most women don't have a clue how to get a man to care about her as much as she does about him. Here are some secrets you can employ to get him to think of you as the one that he loves and wants to build a more serious intimacy with.

Secret #1: You want to bond with him.

More than sexual intimacy and a physical bond you want to get at his inner feelings. Most meaningful relationships start with the man and woman being the best of friends. If a relationship starts with friendship, the chances of it being something that is pleasing to both parties and more likely to last are much more possible. You should be there as his confidant and listen to his problems. Also, be there for his happy times and savor them with him. Being honest with him about where you want the relationship to go and about yourself will take you much farther than lying to him will.

Secret #2: High Regard.

This goes deeper than sex and physical appearance. Those things are superficial and not the building blocks for love. What makes a guy fall in love is esteeming the things about you that make you who you are. Your inviting behavior or just being pleasant to him will catch his eye and get him to fall in love with you. Just be certain that it's not a put-on. If later on he discovers that this is really not you and you were just being a big phony, it will probably send him packing.

Secret #3: Make him wait for sex.

There is always something that attracts a man to a woman whether it is her physical form or some other particular characteristic. Build on that desirability and create an emotional link between you and your man and you will see what makes a guy fall in love. If you hold back on the physical part of your relationship for a little, then your emotional bonding will develop much more quickly. So, contrary to what you may have been led to believe, if you want to make a guy fall in love, you need to make him wait for sex.

By Tina L. Jones

What Do Women Really Want From Their Men?

What do women really want out of a relationship with a man? This is a question that I have asked myself over and over again after my wife and I cannot agree on something. I used to be a firm believer that all women wanted was to be loved, but I was wrong.

A woman needs a lot more than love from the men in their lives. It took me a while to figure it out but after 16 years of marriage I think I might have stumbled upon an answer to this age old mystifying question. I realized it in a mall of all places, go figure. I was waiting for my wife to finish up in a store as I sat on a bench outside with three other bored men. We got to talking about how their wife's and girlfriends are always dragging them around to different shops and how they couldn't stand it any longer. We all agreed that we were only there so that when we wanted to watch a ballgame or go out with the boys all we had to do was leverage the shopping mall trip to obtain our goals. That is how men think.

I was pondering what would happen if us men actually went into the stores with our wife's or girlfriends and stayed close by to give our honest (to a point) opinion on what we thought of their choices. I decided to do an experiment and do just that. The next time my wife wanted to go to the mall I agreed with no hums and haws and went along. When we got to the mall I stayed close by her and went to each store with her, giving my opinions and such all to my wifes surprise. Don't get me wrong she knew something was up from the get-go but didn't say anything to me.

The day went exceptionally well and we laughed and held hands and went to lunch together. I then realized that what women want is not just love but companionship, and there is a difference. Love can be expressed in so may ways - a card, flowers, a kiss, holding hands etc... But true companionship can only be expressed thru shared times like laughing together, crying together, traveling together and yes even shopping together.

When us men sit on a bench and wait for our women its because we are just naturally selfish and uncaring about what our women think, we just want to get out of there as fast as possible. I am suggesting to any man reading this that doing something as small as going into the store with your wife and helping her make a decision on something can change your relationship for the better.

By Arthur Rich