Secret Relationships - Do They Work?

When you think about secret relationships you think of James Bond. These relationships give the impression of freedom and adventure; in reality they are often the contrary. The person in the secret relationship appears to be always smiling at you because he knows something you don't know.

Just as secret relationships are quite common, they don't always work out for very long; Having to keep such a secret puts considerable pressure on the couple; this is why they are so often short lived.

Most people talk about their partner in their everyday conversation. So if there was no secret you would be naturally talking about them quite regularly throughout the day. It will be difficult to continue for a long period without talking in some way about your relationship.

When you are in a secret relationship you must continually refrain from doing so. Perhaps you thrive on the stress under which you put yourself throughout the day; indeed some people treat it like a game and play it to the full to see how long they can get away with it. Others tend to get themselves into this situation by accident, and find themselves under enormous trying all day long to avoid "spilling the beans".

Then you have your partner in this relationship having to do the same thing, so between the two of you, this can amount to an awful lot of strain.

You have to be so careful in everything you do to avoid being seen together by your friends. The pleasure of a meal in a restaurant or going to a movie together or even being seen in the street together holding hands is not for you

You may have a good reason for wanting to keep the relationship secret. You do not want your friends to know that what started as a casual friendship has developed into something more intense. If eventually there is a break up the friends will never know.

For this reason, affairs at work are often kept secret. There are some situations at work where such liaisons are actively discouraged, if not forbidden. Anyway it is usually preferable that those around are not in the know;

Wanting to keep the secret gives the feeling that the partners consider that the relationship is not destined to last long term. A relationship, where you share with your partner the doubts about its viability, is not a healthy relationship.

For those who enjoy the thrill of a secret relationship it is best to make the most of it while it lasts, knowing that this may not be for very long.

You would do well to read a book written by T 'Dub' Jackson. It is a no nonsense, simple, easy to read guide called "The Magic of Making Up". He has been able to help many thousands of people all over the world, sort out their relationship problems.

By Joe Bisley